You have probably heard it said that the fart from the boss, like that from the rich, does not stink. Fat lie! That the boss is always right. Fatter lie.
Most are clueless about projects which they launch with pomp, but later take the organisation to the dogs.
Some bosses are your friends, others are from the hottest corner of hell. Some can be mercurial, sociable and bubbly one moment and uptight the next moment. There can be awkward moments with the boss.
Here are 10 such moments:
1. The stale joker
Sometimes the boss wanders around issuing stale jokes to which you laugh your head off and the boss goes to his corner office thinking how he can take up stand-up comedy when on annual leave. Of course, most bosses lack a sense of humour but still, like a lass smitten by a handsome loaded dude, you dutifully laugh at everything while thinking of the bonus you were promised:
The boss drives a fuel guzzler and lives just a kilometre from the office, meaning you will always arrive later. So, there is that jaundiced look shot at you for perennial lateness, and which might affect the aforementioned bonus.
3. The chatter box
There are some idle bosses who call you to their office but end up talking endlessly about non-issues, like the misfortunes of his favourite team, besides a thing or two regarding his marital woes and children who are draining money in endless tuition sessions. Certainly, you have better things to do than listen to his ceaseless tirade and making an exit becomes a problem when you think of the bonus!
4. The caller
There are time the boss summons you to the office and signals you to plant your underpaid butt in the seat, but alas! they’re on a call. The awkwardness is heightened as the boss is mouthing to the farmhand in mother tongue.
The conversation goes on and on and at some point, you think it’s you they are discussing. You fidget uncomfortably only for the boss to ask whether you are the one with his official blue office thermos!
5. Talking of advance
There are fewer more awkward moments than walking into the boss’ office with the intention of begging for a salary advance. The boss looks up from the sheaf of papers and you begin to stammer that, “Mtoto wangu alijiuma ulimi!”
6. The flirty boss
Most bosses have delusions of grandeur. They become demigods and you their minion. They mostly target interns or office newbies. The worst bit is that you are never sure of how they will react to your rejection. On the other hand, if you give in to their advances, you might be nicknamed ‘Kenya Open,’ especially if you’re a chick!
7. The bossy boss
There are those bosses who send you on errands that are not work-related, including picking up their laundry, buying them lunch even using you to ward off their mpango wa kandos and you can’t tell them, “I am not your mboch” because of that small matter of the bonus.
8. Boss kiraka
There are bosses who come to the office in torn socks, others with shirts that need a kiraka at the elbows. You secretly wonder about the condition of their inner wear, but you dare not raise that issue due to that small matter of the bonus.
9. Too much cleavage
Dressing codes apply to everyone at the work place, except the boss. When you have a ‘Lady Boss’ who shows too much cleavage, it is very hard to maintain eye contact and when they catch your eyes zeroing in on their dashboard, you are not sure whether you will be eligible for that bonus!
10. Social dance
The zenith of awkwardness is when the boss asks you for a dance during the company party, yet you have two left feet. Worse still, if the boss insists on slow dance and keeps stepping on your feet!